Car Wreck

Uncertainty

So several weeks ago, more than a month in fact I went up to Mizzou to apply for an Army ROTC scholarship. After being told that I had a very competitive application I was told they would make their choice by the 26th of Jan....Needless to say, it's been more than a month. My prayers were always for God to close the door if I wasn't supposed to go the way of Army. But to keep the door open and let everything go smoothly if I was. After thinking that too much time had passed and a settled spirit about not doing the ROTC program, I have received a letter. I am approved for the Army ROTC 4 year scholarship. If I so choose to except I will, starting my sophomore year, be obligated to serve 8 years after I graduate. 4 years active duty, and 4 non-active. I've told people I thought this a good idea because nowadays I would build many student loans up and take several years to pay them off. Or I could go the way of the Army, have all my tuition paid for, and have a job as soon as I graduate. The issue is still convincing myself of that.
As soon as I opened the letter and found to my suprise that I was accepted I thought, I'll fast all day tomorrow and really settle down and pray about it, making sure it's God's will.....One problem with that. Many times, although most people don't realize it, prayer can be a hinderance. It can get in the way when God has already told you yes. It acts as a blockade.(I'll elaborate if anyone would like) Many times we're wanting God to lay everything out for us to see, to know everything before we take a step forward. Most of the time God wants us to step out not knowing everything, and in that initial moment we're relying entirely on Him.
I'm willing to step forward. Nervously yet calm I plan to attend Westminster on a Army ROTC 4 year scholarship. You could say, "I'm stepping with certainty into the uncertain."

Quotes w/Mom

Mom: "Stephan, do you want some salad?"
Me: "Salad? What in the world are you talking about?!"
Me: @Dad: "I think mom's got the food pyramid all messed up."
Dad: "Yeah?"
Me: "Meat is on top, followed by sugar and salt. After that, meat, meat, meat, styrofoam, and finally 'vegetables, as few a possible'"
Mom: "Well you know in the Bible Daniel ate vegetables.."
Me: "AND LOOK where it got him! He was thrown into the lion's den!"
Mom: "He didn't get eaten though"
Me: "OF COURSE NOT, all he had been eating was vegetables!"

Quotes w/Dad

Me: @ mom, "I'm pretty sure dad is the one who did it."
Dad: "What are we talking about?"
Me: "Not much, I'm just blaming you for something that you have no knowledge about."
Dad: "Gee, thanks. What are dads good for after all I guess..."
Me: "Taking the fall for their sons no doubt. It's repayment after all."
Dad: "Oh, how so?"
Me: "Well we had a pretty big fall from the tree. Newton wasn't kind to us at all."

Mystery

I'm sitting at the computer right now. I'm sure some of you were able to come to that conclusion fairly well. Others, well you know who you are..

Anyway, maybe this post will actually receive some comments because of it's topic. You see right now, I have this weird feelings. I don't know how to explain it, but it just feels like it's going to tear me in half. I've been feeling this way for the better part of the afternoon and evening and don't know what's causing it, or how to get rid of it. I don't even know if I want to get rid of it. All I know is that it feels like I'm missing something, something key. It's like a mix between being pulled, and a longing or pining for something. I have an idea as I write this, what it might be, but I'd like to know what you; my rare, and select readers, think it is. Do any of you know what I'm talking about? Have you ever had such a feeling, or one you think is similar? What were you doing that it happened to you, and how did you resolve it? Did you just ignore it the best you could and let it dismiss itself, or was there something that helped?

If any of you see me in the next couple of days, I might be torn in two. But maybe that's it. Two, two sides of me. Could it be that? There are so many different opposing pairs out there. Could one of them explain what I'm feeling? Yen and Yang, Good and Evil, Flesh and Spirit.

Oh for an ounce of insight, or maybe a liter. Any would be nice. (yes I'm aware that I changed units 'ounce' to 'liter')

Christmas Break

The semester is finally over and I'm sure most of us agree; we're glad for Christmas break. It's a time of get-to-gethers and running around. Many of us will be going on vacation to visit family, others spending time shopping. However this is the time of year that many Christians are constantly reminded about making sure we don't forget what this season is really about. Jesus Christ and his birth. We will hear this message from our pastors on Sunday morning, we will hear it from Christmas Eve services. We'll hear it from Christmas musicals/plays. Being told time after time seems to make the message redundant. Why is it that everytime we sit and are told this message we hear, but don't listen? Do any of us purposefully dictate our time in any way to praise and thank our God? Do we prioritize our schedule so that we make sure to turn our eyes to our heavenly Father? How many of us actually listen to what's being said and make a concious decision to dedicate some of our "precious" Christmas break? This Christmas I'm going to make changes. I can only hope and pray that you will as well make this time about Christ. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Sooner Saturday

So this past Saturday I went to the OU sponsored "Sooner Saturday." This is where a prospective highschool senior goes to find out what OU offers. Throughout the entire day he get to tour everything from the rooms to the cafeteria and everything in between. I went around and visited the Army ROTC (reserve officer training core) I talked with a Captain there, and that was slightly helpful. He invited me to come out and see and maybe partake in the drilling they go through. Just to see if I like it. He also said I could try out some of their other stuff. I.e. Paintball. Honestly I think that'd be great. Get to play paintball with Army officers.

Besides that I visited the Health and Science building. During that time I went down to a certain field, I don't remember the name of it right now, but I had my body fat percentage measured. Somehow at the end of that test the guy in charge asked if I wanted to do this semi-regularly. I asked what I'd be doing, and he said basically I'd have my bone density measured and bfp (body fat percentage) measured, because during htis time most guys testorone levels rise and they're able to put on mass and muscle more easily. I'd would also be running basically until my legs gave out. The purpose of that would be seeing how good my endurance and lung capacity is. Also how good of shape I'm in. In other words people, I have reached my life's goal. I am offically a lab rat! W00T!!!

I still don't really know where I'm going to college. I've been told by some people that I better not go out of state, but honestly if that's where God wants me to go then I figure I'd better.

Hasta